My Sister

There is no sense in wasting time in words, I will say it point blank, that my sister has a mental illness. To what capacity and extent we do not fully know. It is my belief that one cannot ever know the full capacity of a mental illness. The mind is too vast and there are way too many factors.  What we do know, that is mainly my mother and me, because even though we have by most standards quite a large family, my mother trusts me the most with this knowledge. Knowing that in certain cases like friends of the family, I will be able to tell incomplete truths, without them being out right lies. For instance when asked, "Do you know where your sister is right now?" I would simply answer, "not right now." But it would be safe to say this. My sister has schizophrenia and quite possibly a bi-polar disorder. Now that I have given this piece of information about my sister, let me say this, mental illnesses run in the family. My mother's father was suspected of having schizophrenia, he committed suicide by shooting himself while my mother was in the house. Over 40 years ago. My uncle has a bi-polar disorder. My aunt tried to commit suicide by stuffing a rag in her car's muffler, she has depression. I myself have a mental illness, a illness, that despite what people say in the media, afflicts thousands of people in America. Why am I giving this much about myself away? I am not entirely sure. Part of it is that I want to really be understood for who I am, I want people to read these words and judge if they want to. As if their judgment meant anything to me. I am tired of being faced almost daily with words uttered by people that do not understand what they are saying about a mental illness. I cannot educate entirely, only give my perspective. My perspective is that people often judge to harshly that which they do not understand. My life has been a living testament of this, I do not think, I know that I have been misunderstood, and that I have been hurt countless times because of this. I have become the person that I am today for better or worse because of this. My sister once a "functioning member of society" (direct quote from someone) (whatever that really means) is now not. Meaning she doesn't have a job, she doesn't eat unless almost forced, she doesn't take care of herself. She had so much more, lived more lavishly and independently than anyone I have ever known. On her own "steam." I do not know if she will be able to do this again or not, part of me thinks not her mind is not completely whole. But then she doesn't talk to me, but she's noticeably still as intelligent as ever. That's my main point people with mental illnesses can function in society, but only ultimately with the help of the society around them. Just a friendly reminder. I will be posting more on this topic in the future.